


For Now

by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts



Series: Confused Thoughts and Healing [1]
Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce is proud of his idiot, Bruce is trying to live up to his science bro's legacy, Bucky's an idiot, Endgame compliant, Everybody misses Tony Stark, M/M, Sam Wilson sees and knows everything, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 23:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts/pseuds/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts
Summary: "No you're not, fine. And nobody expects you to be." Bruce wet his bottom lip. "I know I don't. And I also know that you probably feel like you have no right to burden anyone with your own problems, but I'm the Hulk. I think I can shoulder quite the amount. And I'm here for you."Bucky chuckled, looking away for a second before his eyes sought for the scientist's again. "You're here for everyone, Bruce. It's not healthy to be that nice. It's not possible. You're not real."





	For Now

"So, how was your day?" Sam asked, dipping a maki in sweet soy sauce.

"Fairly slow to be honest. I wasn't planning to get out before you invited me to dinner." Bruce answered, narrowing his eyes slighty as he approached a nigiri to his mouth.

"Bruce, you need to get out more, get some vitamin C for your pasty ass." The soldier said, before downing a few sashimis.

"I know. I'm trying. I go to vegan market with Pepper every sunday, I swear."

Sam snorted, fondly amused before downing a few more slices of fresh salmon. "So, Bucky's in custody."

Bruce blinked a few times, as the information registered in before he sighed deeply. "What is it this time?" He asked, more mentally drained than physically exhausted. 

_The loss of Tony had taken a toll on everyone. Peter was off wandering on his own. The kid was worse than Tony when it came to asking for help. It tore Bruce's heart apart not to be able to do anything. He didn't want the kid to grow to be a stranger. Or worse, to loose himself trying to prove he hasn't. Pepper was being strong, because having a daughter required her to. Morgan was bright, entertaining, happy. Bruce needed happy these days. He spend an awful lot of time with Pepper and Morgan when he wasn't in the labs._

_Shuri would visit every now and then, teach him everything Tony's notes couldn't and more. She was brilliant, bright, beautiful in her genius. He was a name to add to list of her broken white boys. Except he was smart enough to keep up with her. She liked that. She liked him more than Disney World. Okoye didn't like him more than Starbucks. Yet. But he was self-teaching himself Xhosa and soon enough, he might be able to impress her by saying a decent 'hello, how are you'._

_Thor was else world. To find himself again. Not that he was ever truly lost. He just needed to realize it. Bruce finding him hadn't been enough like Thor finding Bruce had. The scientist had told the demigod he loved him. Thor had smiled, clapped his shoulders and said 'Me too' before pulling him into a hug. Bruce had chuckled, tears welling in his eyes as he'd realized just how painful the distinction between 'I love you' and 'I'm in love with you' could be. Thor had wiped away the tear with a chuckle and promised to return if he ever was needed_.

_Clint had suffered. Still was suffering. In way few could relate to. Now that the pain was gone, the archer was drowning in guilt, believing the darkness in his heart was contagious. He had nightmares. Too many. Too often. Bruce knew because Clint had returned to the compound. Didn't say a word to anyone. Nobody knew what was going on. Except for Wanda who only ever spoke to him. They made an odd broken pair. But they also managed to slowly put each others' pieces together again, unafraid to cut themselves on each others' shards._

_Steve was gone to find a lost love again, believing it would give him a purpose saving the world hadn't managed to. His way of healing, seeking shelter in a kinder reality. Not his though. Bruce knew. That's why he kept the suits and Pym particles around. Because some day, the world would need Steve Rogers again. And Steve Rogers would realize that raging wars was the reality he wanted to be part of. Steve Rogers. Not Captain America._

_The world had a new Captain America. A competent one. Sam Wilson carried the shield like it was weightless during days and too heavy at nights. Omnipresent reminder of the loss of his best friend, of a man who gave him purpose again, of the brother who allowed him to see that he could live instead of surviving. Bruce particularly liked Sam. He understood his silence like few others. With Sam, he never had to explain himself, they just could talk. About anything and everything. They could not talk as well. The silence between the two was companionable and respectful._

_Bucky on the other hand, well Bucky was annoying. Cold. Closed off. And yet, yet, he managed to be incredibly loud at the worst moments. No wonders Sharon Carter tried to smother him between her thighs every now and then. Bucky was irreverent, rough everywhere and didn't want to fit in. It annoyed Bruce to no end. Perhaps because he had spent so long being a chameleon that being forced in a single skin, no less than appointed supervisor / babysitter of the Avengers, made his very own skin crawl. He hated it. But he wouldn't dare hand the job to anyone else. Misfits he knew and understood better than anyone. Being broken too. Not that he was that kind of doctor. Bruce had seven PhDs for god's sake. Who thought he should be habilitated to take decisions for such a powerful group when he couldn't even pick a career for himself?_

"Earth to Bruce." Sam singsonged, reaching for an uramaki with his sticks.

"Right." The scientist blinked. "What did he do this time?"

Sam chuckled. "Punched a journalist."

Bruce heaved a deep sigh. "Well, that one is new. May I know why?"

Sam grinned, as if he was about to share a very funny joke. "Actually he was defending your honor."

"Mine?"

"Yes. As surprising as it sounds. Yours. A journalist was being a jackass about the Hulk, but he got seriously annoyed when Bruce Banner, was involved."

The scientist frowned. "Why? What was said? That I was a freak? A monster? Worse than those we catch?"

Sam shook his head, as if the very heart of his joke lied right there. "A sad excuse for a scientist." He answered. "Barnes punched them and then, what he said is : '**How many PhDs does Bruce Banner have? Seven. How many do you have? I bet it's fuckin' zero.**' All of that was yelled as he was dragged away by the police, I think the footage is going to be on the news tonight. And tomorrow, most likely. And the day after that, maybe."

Bruce wanted to find it in himself to be angry, truly. But all he could do was smile. Bucky was an idiot with no self-restraint but he was his idiot. Their idiot. The Avengers' idiot. An "idiot." The scientist said, still smiling just a little. 

Sam caught it and smiled back. "So whatcha gonna do doc? He was arrested right when I called you for dinner."

Bruce narrowed his eyes. "So that was the sirens I heard in the background ? You were with him?" Sam nodded. "And you didn't tell me right away?!"

The soldier shrugged. "I figured he could use a little while in time out. And I could use sushis." He punctuated the end of the sentence by shoving a california roll in his mouth. 

Bruce threw his head back. "When has this become my life?" He asked, looking up at the ceiling. The scientist then heaved a short sigh and pull out his glasses out of the front pocket of his purple shirt. He put them on and stood up. "You two need to grow up." He said, shrugging his coat back on. He left a hundred bucks on the table. "Get some takeover Wilson. Or I'll get angry." Sam laughed as he watched Bruce go, waving him goodbye with him fingers.

When the doctor finally figured out to which post Bucky had been brought, a hour had already passed. By the time the caution was paid off, the day was over and a new one had started. "Am I in trouble doc?" The supersoldier asked, when Bruce came to sight. Bucky had patiently been seating on the bench of his cell, ridiculously muscular arms crossed over his chest.

"Do not test my patience right now, Barnes. Or so help me God, I will sell your arm to Rocket."

Bucky snorted, moving toward the bars to get a good look at Bruce's face. "You fixed it one time too many not to be attached doc, don't lie." He spoke and rose his eyebrows for a second. 

Bruce rolled his eyes. "What happened to Steve taking all the stupid with him?" Bucky's jaw clenched, expression shifting to more stern one. Bruce realized his mistake too late. "I'm sorry, I..."

"No need, doc." Bucky answered and lightly shrugged. "It's fine. I'm fine."

Bruce frowned at the words, stepping closer to the cell as well. "No you're not. And nobody expects you to be." He wet his bottom lip. "I know I don't. And I also know that you probably feel like you have no right to burden anyone with your own problems, but I'm the Hulk. I think I can shoulder quite the amount. And I'm here for you."

Bucky chuckled, looking away for a second before his eyes sought for the scientist's again. "You're here for everyone, Bruce. It's not healthy to be that nice. It's not possible. You're not real." Bruce frowned at the words spoken, but remained silent. "One day you're just gonna disappear too. To some end of the world like you do every now and then when there's a disaster. But for good. And I don't want to deal with that."

Bruce sighed deeply, before tentatively wrapping his fingers around some bars of the cell, right below the sergeant's hands. "I'm not leaving, Bucky. I've ran my whole life. Scared of myself. But now, now I've got this. I'm doing it right. For Tony. For Natasha. For myself. I need this. I need to know that one day, there'll be a generation that will be a little less broken, and will still have Avengers to protect those acquired bits of innocence. That's what we're all doing. Fighting for a better future. This, is the purpose I chose for myself. After spending so long believing I couldn't have any because of who I was." He tentatively smiled. "This isn't perfect. But this is me. This, is, what I can promise you. A cause bigger than us."

"No one risks their lives for some cause." Bucky argued. "We do it for those we love."

"I love humanity." Bruce replied, making Bucky chuckle.

"There must be someone that you'll fight to see again..." The soldier argued, a look foreign to Bruce on his face. Something akin to hopefulness.

"There might be someone. But it could never work."

"Why?" The soldier inquired.

"Well they're," Bruce furrowed his brows. "They're an—"

He was cut short by the police officer who came to open the cell. "Everything's finally in check, Mr Barnes. Please get an actual ID. The system poorly handles files that were written before data digitalization." Both Bucky and Bruce's eyes shot to the man. The scientist stepped aside to allow the deputy to open the cell. "No belonging was taken away from you when you arrived so you're good to go. Please, try not to come back." He told the sergeant before stepping aside as well. Bucky nodded and got out.

The two superheroes headed to the exit in silence. Something thick and uncomfortable hanging between them. Not a word was uttered on the taxi ride back to the Avengers tower either. It took them to get inside the elevator for Bucky to gather the nerve to ask what he was dying to know. "You said, you said there was someone."

Bruce smiled. "I did. There is. But they're an idiot. Annoying to no end. Unable to go unnoticed. Incredibly loud even when they try to remain silent. They just have an incredibly judgmental gaze you know? And disgustingly nice arms. Though to be fair, one is a prosthetic that I might've tinkered with so I might just be appreciating my own work." He let out the hint of a chuckle in a soft breath, taking off his glasses. "I think I like being annoyed by them. It makes me feel like I can live. I'm annoyed. But I'm not angry. Just normally, annoyed." He smiled at the other man. Always tentative, discreet, as if he wouldn't dare doing it fully, fearing for the happiness to be taken away because he enjoyed it too much. He laughed like that too. Subdued but genuine. Never too long. Never too loud. But always heartfelt.

Bucky smiled back, understanding what it meant for the scientist. "You sure know how to chat up a man, doc. I guess my mission now is to normally annoy you for..." He paused, unable to tell what would happen to either of them. Forever sounded like too big of an engagement. They couldn't promise themselves forever in their line of work. That was the kind of promise they could grow to resent one another for making. For a while sounded too shallow.

"_Now_." Bruce supplied. "_**For now.**_"

Bucky smiled, pulled out of his spiral of thoughts. "**_For now._**" He contently echoed.

**Author's Note:**

> For those wondering, Professor Hulk naturally shifted back to Bruce once he was completely healed. The two halves are now capable of communicating with one another but remain two separate entities. It's what Valkyrie said that stopped Bruce from turning back into Professor Hulk again. Something about preferring his two other faces to a merged one. It helped Bruce realize that he was both. And that he didn't need for it to be constantly, physically the case for it to be true. Or more so, that it wasn't untrue even when Bruce and Hulk were separated or conflicting. They were one. Or could at least co-operate to create an harmony between the two energies residing in the same body.


End file.
